im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
