I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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