you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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