I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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