it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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