"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
