Define "chronic" masturbator.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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