Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
