Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
