He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
