too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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