if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Non-Jews are for practice
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
porn star boner night. come get it.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
