I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
