Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
