We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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