Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
