Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize