508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
