I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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