i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
