BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
