is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
