just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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