yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
As shirtless as possible
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
