I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
