why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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