What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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