I feel like abortions should bother me more
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
