Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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