For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
