i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
