I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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