Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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