The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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