I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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