Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
