Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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