Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I need to align my fucking chakras
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
