I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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