Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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