By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
