so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
