He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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