no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
