Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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