Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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