question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
