Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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