This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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