It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
